disappearance - the act or an instance of disappearing; a ceasing to be seen or to exist. well, this is the meaning of disappearance as defined by dictionary.com. if that's the case, then what should i term the act of actually being there yet not as well??
i know that you've always been there but sometimes i just don't feel the presence of your existence. a moment you were still by my side. later, you were gone. so, i'm questioning if you were even there in the first place?? if right from the very beginning, you were never there at all, then why do i seem to feel that you've left my side?? i shouldn't have felt anything or should i?? this is just the same logic when someone says that let's end this, but in fact, they haven't even started so there's nothing to end at all. isn't it so?! how i wish that you've always been there so i won't need to doubt your existence. i will be able to touch you and feel your presence that you are actually really there. however, it's not the total opposite either. it's more of something in between. because you were there and before i could acknowledge your presence, you were gone. so it just seems like you were never there. there's nothing left behind that i can see with my own eyes to prove that you've been with me all along and now you have to go. it just seems like an imagination on my part. everything seems so unreal. i just wish that i had something i can see all the time just to tell me that this is real. perhaps you've always been there, it's just that i couldn't see....